We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts

The title of this post is taken from Songs of Solomon, chapter 8, verse 8:

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

Thinking through my devotional:

For my devotional yesterday night, I read Songs of Solomon 7 and 8, and after coming across the above quoted verse, I remembered a couple of things about my childhood.

I grew up in a Christian family but one thing that always puzzled me was why my dad never allowed us to read the Songs of Solomon as a family. I always observed that my dad engineered our morning and evening devotional sessions very carefully, and there was always one major reason why we had to jump from Ecclesiastes to Isaiah or from Proverbs to the New Testament after which we would come back to Isaiah some months later, brushing aside the Songs of Solomon. I never really understood any of his reasons, but he quite explained them very skillfully. There I was thinking: if the whole Bible was for our benefit, what about the Songs of Solomon? Deep down in my mind, I knew something was fishy.

Privately, I had read the Songs of Solomon, but unlike other books of the Bible, I couldn’t quite explain it or relate it to any other book in the form of taking one verse and using it to explain another verse in another book or vice-versa. What I understood from the SOS’s plain English was that it was about a boy and girl talking to one another, and it was quite interesting. I was naturally drawn to the Psalms, Proverbs and the SOS because of my inclination and love for poetry and rhymes; and especially because of the use of words in those particular books of the Bible. For me, it was like I could connect with whoever the author/s was/were.

One day, my mom was in talking mood, so I asked her why daddy never allowed us to read the Songs of Solomon, why he always jumped over it and never tried to explain one single verse in the whole book, or pull a verse there and explain another, somewhere else. She looked at me, rather surprised and said that the SOS is for grown ups, and not for kids; and that when we get older, he(our daddy) would read it to us. I then asked her if there was a part of the Bible for kids and another part for adults, and why was it that only one book of the Bible was for adults. She found a way to explain herself out and we ended the conversation.

At another time, we read the story about the wall of Jericho, and so I again asked my mom why God allowed the people in Jericho to be killed; besides killing people wasn’t good info for children, so why were we reading through it in the devotional? My mom sort of put two and two together, recollected my previous Songs of Solomon talk, and now informed me that the Songs of Solomon was for husbands and wives, and so when I grew up and got married, I could read the book to my wife and vice versa. That answer sort of pacified me at that time coz I assumed it made sense: the SOS is for husbands and wives; and so I forgot about the topic altogether.

Fast forward: Now, I am single, would be getting married someday but still I don’t understand the Songs of Solomon, except appreciating its use of words. So, yesterday night, I remembered my moms explanation and wondered: when I get married and I read the Songs of Solomon to my wife, assuming just for the purpose of reading it to her, if I don’t understand it, how would I explain it to her?

  • and perhaps too, she, a Christian, coming from a family where her Christian parents might have not explained the Songs of Solomon to her;
  • and later on, we would have kids and be still unable to explain the  Songs of Solomon to them;
  • and perhaps, one day, one of my kids would come to me and ask me what the Songs of Solomon was really about; and perhaps I would give him/her the same answer my parents gave to me – thus the cycle continues from one generation to another.

So my thought went back to my parents and I concluded: perhaps my dad didn’t understand the book so he couldn’t explain it, coz perhaps his own parents didn’t explain it to him.

I ended my meditations by asking myself what the understanding / lack of understanding of the Songs of Solomon had to do with my Salvation and ultimate goal of getting to Heaven. My answer was ZERO, and so I prayed and went to sleep.

Back to the real world: the truth is that Nigerian parents(regardless of religion) don’t tell their children a lot of things, I mean a lot of things – information which could have been useful for the Children to avoid a couple of temptations and eventual pitfalls across their way.

Some Christian parents for example bring up their children with a series of commandments: all don’t’s, completely pushing aside the do’s; and unfortunately their Children grow up with a negative mindset, only thinking about when they will be free. Whenever they become free, for example, in the University, they rush headlong into a series of mistakes in life(ex: drugs, vices and bad company), desires they have harbored in their minds for so long, for which they want to “prove and experience” as fast as possible. When all is said and done, the kids look so vile, having grown up in Christian homes and still having the stamina to do such bad things.

Its easy to blame these kids, but the question we are supposed to ask is if their parents told them about it while they were in the confines of their parents homes, as in if they(parents) and kids sat down to talk: man to man. Many times, parents never talk to their kids, except through the aid of some religious book(the Bible, Quran or some other material).

And even some other things which could have helped their kids make better decisions in life are totally unexplained. Having involved myself in working with youths in Church, observing my immediate society, talking with a couple of friends and acquaintances who are Christians and non-Christians; I have come to a conclusion that if the present set of young parents of Nigerians do not depart from a set of African cultural mentality that makes them(parents) think that they(parents) are protecting their kids from whatever they(kids) aren’t told about, these kids might end up worse in the future.

These kids might make more mistakes in life that they(parents) even did in their own youth age. This is because we are presently in an age where evil influences hit a child with so much force the moment he/she steps out of his/her parents front door, even to take some fresh air.

An example is the issue of sex: when a parent cannot sit down and explain to his/her child the do’s, don’t’s and the purpose of sex, the child is in a greater danger in 2010 than at 20-30-years ago. And if children aren’t taught the ideals at home, they would be negatively influenced either in school, in the neighborhood, on the radio, through the television, the internet, their mobile phones or some other social media. The point is that the negative information which they have been protected from for so long eventually gets to them; and unfortunately a lot fall headlong.

We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

methinks: since we have a little sister, and she hath no breasts, we better start speaking for her before that special day.

Now lets discuss: your comments and opinions are welcome!


Ayotokunbo Ajewole, an engineer, an avid writer, and blogger (a.k.a OmoJesus)

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Ayotokunbo Ajewole, an engineer, an avid writer, and blogger (a.k.a OmoJesus)

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