When I first read the title of her post, a familiar bell rang in my head. Ife wrote about the challenge singles face in finding the right partner in marriage, especially from the Christian perspective.
I could relate a lot to her piece: I also attended marriage seminars, talks, forums – all bordering around knowing ‘God’s Will’ in marriage, before coming to an understanding of what it was/is not really about.
I had been hearing the words “God’s will” as relating to marriage, since I was about 10-years old. At that time, I didn’t understand what it meant, but I believed that one day it will happen. I imagined that God will speak to me just as he spoke to Moses severally, even sometimes calling him by name.
Fast forward: many years gone by;
The question is: does God still speak?
The answer is: Yes, God speaks.
The problem is us: you and me. How we listen, what we actually hear or think we heard, our level of relationship with God is the problem.
I was so full of joy the day it dawned on me that this “God’s will, God’s will, God’s will”, is not always about marriage. It was after a morning prayer all by myself some many years ago. In fact, I realized that marriage is just one of God’s several Wills.
God’s Will’s had been staring me in the face all the way from Genesis to Revelation, daily, monthly, yearly; meanwhile, I focused on marriage, even though I wasn’t getting married the next morning.
It was an eye opener, a breath of fresh-air, a divine oracle. I remember feeling a sense of great relief. I had been stuck with an idea for so many years, and I just got an understanding.
Marriage is good and important, but leave marriage alone for awhile and let us focus on the Will’s of God for our lives, all over the scriptures. Its there. Apart from the salvation of our souls and the knowledge of the truth, God’s will includes: His glory, The priority of evangelism, Our Sanctification, Prosperity, Becoming a disciple of Jesus Christ, Wisdom, Explicit trust in God, Complete obedience to His commands, an Attitude of Gratitude, etc.
How many of these ‘Wills’ have we persevered in prayer about? How many have we longed for, fasted for, studied about, and meditated on?…..as much as we would normally do when its time to make a choice for a life-partner. Most likely ‘prosperity’.
How many of God’s Will’s have we worked hard physically and spiritually to bring into reality in our lives?, affirming them by our actions and in-actions.
Meditating on Matthew 22:23-30 made me realize that God has other more important Will’s for me(us), than marriage.
God’s initial Will for man in Genesis was work, not woman. Adam was working for God in Eden. He was the manager of everything, and every creature in the garden. He didn’t even know that he needed a help-meet. In Genesis 2:18-20, God manufactured the animals, Adam named them. Adam was close to God, there was a relationship. His work in the garden and his relationship to God were in sync. God commenced a search for Adam’s help meet. Out of all of God’s other creatures: animals &birds, everything on land and sea, none was found suitable for Adam.
The amount of the will of God that we know for our individual lives is a measure of our relationship with Him. One level of relationship will lead into another. The deeper our relationship with God is, the deeper the revelation of His will for and in our lives will become. It would thus be easy to all that He give us in every area of our life.
Adam never prayed for a wife; but God, out of His love looked for a help-meet for Adam, and brought her to him. Immediately Adam saw Eve, he knew she was bone of his bone. God didn’t need to inform Adam that Eve was bone of his bone, because Adam had a deep relationship with God. It was like saying 1+1=2.
And I think this is the key. The more we devote ourselves to God’s cause and purpose, the easier it will be to know what His will and His plan is for our lives. As His plans and purposes come into fruition, it would be easier to walk in them, flow with them, accept them and fulfill them.
How can you say you are close to a family when probably only know the Father or Mother of the home and not the children? Or vice-versa. Or perhaps, you know just 1-member of the family and not the others. If you are really close to a family, you would know(have a relationship) with every member of the family. You would know where their house is, what car they drive, the individual names of everybody in the family, their birthdays; perhaps even the siblings of the Father, siblings of the mother, cousins of the kids, their extended family members, etc. You would have a personal history about the family.
Your friendship / closeness to the family usually begins with one person. For example you meet/befriend one member of a family, who over time introduces you to another member of his/her family, and another member of their family. This continues until you meet the whole family, who would then begin introducing you to their extended family. The chain begins to build and it gets stronger and stronger. One day, you would begin referring to someone as: my friend’s cousin’s friend.
Back to God: if you have a close relationship with God, He would readily introduce “His buddy”, His Will for you in Marriage. How the introduction will take place is His own prerogative.